Bad Naked

Recently, a young model named Jessie Nizewitz filed a $10 Million lawsuit against entertainment conglomerate Viacom for a post-production oversight. She had agreed to star in a VH1 reality dating show called “Dating Naked” which, as the name subtlety implies, is televised nude courtship. Each contestant removes their clothing and they attempt to relate to each other in a deep and meaningful way.

While on her date, Miss Nizewitz’s body became intertwined with that of her male companion while the two wrestled on the beach. As with previous episodes, VH1 was expected to obscure the naughty bits during the editing process in order to make them suitable for network television. Unfortunately, there were several frames during the couple’s playful grappling match that lacked proper censorship. 

As a result, the young lady’s modesty presented itself to the world from a rather unflattering angle.

A decade or so ago, this would have been nothing more than a visual anomaly that most viewers would have attributed to their imagination. However in our world of DVRs, screenshots, and social media, the unedited frames quickly became a viral sensation. In her suit, Nizewitz alleges the episode even ruined a “budding relationship” she had with a young man she had been dating. She insists that once VH1 premiered the unfettered footage of her genitalia, “He never called me again after the show aired. I would have hoped we could have had a long-term relationship. He was employed, Jewish, in his 30s and that’s pretty much ideal."

I suppose there could be a legitimate argument that she had a “reasonable expectation of blurrage” and goodness knows if anyone has earned the right to tastefully handle the delicate nuances of a burgeoning romance it is the network that brought you Flavor of Love 2. However, given that she was a willing participant in an enterprise that required her to constantly frolic naked in front of a camera crew and a bevy of potential suitors I am going to assume that her threshold for embarrassment is rather high.   

And, while I am not Jewish, I am employed and in my thirties so I feel that I can safely speak on behalf of her perspective beau. Perhaps it wasn’t Viacom’s post production error that doomed your budding relationship, but rather it was the overall concept of you sand-wrestling another man buck-naked in exchange for monetary compensation. I seriously doubt the guy in question was sitting in his apartment with an engagement ring in hands thinking, “What a shame. She had handled herself with such an understated dignity right up until the moment I saw her poo-shooter.”

If they had a contract and if Viacom violated the parameters contained therein, then she does deserve some compensation and an apology; but let’s stop pretending that it was an editing mistake that gave the young man pause. I wonder if she had even divulged her participation to her paramour prior to the airing of the show. I cannot imagine the dinner conversation if he asked, “so what was the last date you went on?” and she attempted to downplay it:

“Oh, you know how dates are; dinner, movie, pants-less half-nelson under a boom-mic. Anyway….didn’t I hear to say that you had two sisters?”  

I suppose now would be the opportune moment to proselytize about the moral decay of a society that televises such shameless attempts to cheapen human intimacy in the name of commerce, but one could make the argument that The Bachelor already accomplished this in evening wear.