Like many Americans, I choose to participate in a Medical Flex
Spending Account program offered through my employer. This allows me to set aside
a certain amount of money each year that is excluded as taxable income and can
be used on eligible health related expenditures.
Until recently, the caveat of such a program was that any
unused funds did not carry over from year to year. So it was truly a “use it or
lose it” system. This meant that during the last month of my plan year I would
spend days scouring the FSA literature for eligible expenses so as not to see
my paycheck garnished in vain.
The IRS provides a detailed list as to what is considered an “eligible
medical expense” and what is not. While glancing through this list, I found
some rather peculiar entries:
Breast pump
(for a lactating woman) – This particular entry seem to carry an unnecessary
classification. I can certainly understand excluding the purchase of such
a device for, say, a non-lactating man; but as the purchase required no other
documentation I was unsure exactly how the confirmation process worked.
Dancing
lessons (for treatment of a medical condition) – The site
was unclear on the nature of qualifying medical conditions or the type of dance
instruction covered. For instance, Waltzing for West Nile might be perfectly
acceptable while Stanky-legg for Psoriasis could require a special
exception. Either way, if embarrassing my
wife on the dance floor is a medical condition I am pretty sure I could get
100% reimbursement.
Does Not
Cover Illegal operations or substances – I felt like this was a good
catch-all parameter for the FSA program. It was very considerate of them to
clarify this up front in case your heroin dealer just got an updated point-of-sale
system and could now take your FSA MasterCard.
Listening
therapy – I am not sure what this is, but I do know that it is covered
and that it is in my best interest that my wife never finds out. I can only
hope that the course is available on audiobook…
Swimming
lessons (for treatment of a medical condition) – It
remained unclear whether or not “inability to swim” was classified as a medical
condition although “hydrophobia” generally covers a fear of drowning. This has
always been confusing to me since “phobias” are defined as “irrational fears”
and to my knowledge no one has been revived on the side of a pool only to
request that they be thrown back in so that they can “get another taste of that
action.”
Dyslexia
treatment (requires a letter) – I can only assume that our
Federal Government is not cruel enough to require the patient to author and
submit said letter. If I found myself in that position I would probably
overthink it and worry that if the letter was correctly worded and free of
errors, they would suspect I did not suffer from the condition I sought
treatment for. On the other hand, if the letter was malformed in some way, they
might reject my reimbursement based on the incomprehensibility of my letter.
Magnetic
therapy (over-the-counter) – While I am unfamiliar with this particular line of treatment;
I could not help but wonder what differentiates “over-the-counter” magnetic
therapy from “prescription strength” magnetic therapy? Is it considered
prescription strength when you are asked to remove your credit cards or only if
your pacemaker stops? To be fair, coverage does require a letter.
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