Christian Domestic Discipline

A friend recently made me aware of a new trend in Protestantism call “Christian Domestic Discipline” or CDD on the streets. While CDD is a multifaceted approach, the Christian Domestic Discipline website defines it as follows:

“A Domestic Discipline (DD) marriage is one in which one partner is given authority over the other, and has the means to back up that authority, usually by spanking. Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) marriage is simply a traditional, male-led, Christian marriage which utilises [sic] aspects of Domestic Discipline. It is set up according to Biblical standards. Therefore, in a CDD marriage: The husband is the head of the household, whilst the wife is submissive to her husband as if the Lord Himself was her husband. See Eph. 5:22-24. In CDD, the husband has authority to discipline the wife. The wife does not have authority to discipline her husband. See Gen. 3:16

Always eager to employ Biblical principles, I followed the “Husbands” link and under the header “How to Discipline your Wife” and I was given the following insider information on when to deploy punishment up to and including spanking. The website explains why the missus will likely require some derriere maintenance:

“1. Women by their peculiar sin nature resist earthly authority and trust.”

“2. Women will seek earthly security at the expense of emotional and/or spiritual security.”

Having thoroughly unmasked all women as being divinely pre-disposed to rebellious gold-digging, the section further details the type of transgressions meriting domestic corporal punishment. It is advised that women should “let thy words be few” and their “dress be modest.”  Other practitioners cite more topical missteps such as texting while driving, moving money between accounts or rolling their eyes when the HoH (head of household) is speaking.

So what should a self-respecting HoH do when his better half returns home from the store with a halter-top and the misconception that her opinion has merit? I quote the site at length because paraphrasing wouldn’t do it justice:

When administering physical discipline, take caution not to deliver the lashes anywhere but the buttocks. The first attempt at this punishment should only be delivered by hand so you can get an idea of how many lashings are needed. The best position will be for you to sit at the end of a bed or on a chair (with no arms) and have her lay across your lap. She can also bend over a bed with arms tucked under her chest and your left hand on the small of her back. If a strap (belt) is to be implemented watch that each stoke falls directly on the buttocks and not higher.

A fearful wife may begin crying or pleading and find it difficult to remain still. Reassure her of your intent and love (yes this will hurt, that is why it is a punishment) then instruct her to be still. Remind her that she is not in control of this discipline. You should continue the lashing through her tears and pleas for you to stop, until you are certain the message was received. This will insure her remorse and therefore stop the undesirable behavior.

A sound lashing is five to ten strokes with your hand, or three to five strokes with a strap; some wives need more. To avoid brusing [sic] do not strike the same area in repetition.

Gauge your decision to proceed based on your wife's readiness to repent.

You may find it difficult to cause your wife pain, but as a woman she needs the release of guilt that this form of punishment brings. Afterwards, help her up gently and hold her while allowing her to cry for as long as you both feel necessary. If you have children instruct her to wash her face before emerging from the room.

Her reaction after the lashing will let you know if this punishment works for her. She should be genuinely remorseful, tearful, and sore, but have an overwhelming desire to please you.

Do not make apologies for the punishment as this will cast doubt in her mind of your authority. The amount of rebuke and lash sessions may be high at first but should slowly decrease as she learns her new role in the relationship, and you embrace yours. The gift you give your wife in this act will lead to her soul's full surrender allowing her to embrace her femininity.

Where to begin? I can’t speak for everyone’s marriage, but if I was required to spank the wife every time she rolled her eyes at something I said I would’ve sustained a debilitating rotator cuff injury nine years ago. I particularly enjoyed the section meant to reassure those hesitant to beat their wives like a rented piñata that such action is necessary because “she needs the release of guilt that this form of punishment brings.” Apparently Christ’s sacrifice is sufficient to assuage sinful guilt in the male populace, but if you are in the unfortunate position of sporting a vagina it is necessary to supplement with a rubber hose or area-wide phone book.

I thought it was sweet that the husband was to “instruct” the wife to wipe her face before emerging from the “50 Shades of Jesus” chamber so as not to traumatize the offspring. The implication is that while the children would be unaffected by their mother’s audible pleas for mercy, the sight of a tear on her face could have a negative psychological impact. 

It should be noted that CDD is simply an offshoot of Domestic Discipline. The philosophy is essentially the same except the former designated the HoH as male and throws in a few references to Ephesians for good measure while the latter could presumably be implemented by a couple of any orientation or marital status. Both insist that the practice is non-sexual (despite what Google returns if you search for “DD spanking”) and that it has nothing in common with carnal fetishes employing the same techniques.

To be honest, I am not sure why anyone who accepts this document’s view of women would ever want to spend the rest of their life with one. According to the supplied documentation they are prodigiously insubordinate, mentally deficient, and rely on physically punishment to embrace their own potential. Even their inherent femininity requires a backhanded jumpstart. In fact, I would argue it’s downright unfair to burden such important men with female companionship at all. That way they can avoid the humiliation of being subjected to an eye-roll every time they say something stupid which, from everything I have read, would be incessant.