The Obama Files

As the presidential race intensifies, I find my Facebook newsfeed and e-mail inbox inundated with claims about Barak Obama’s (or his wife’s) supposed lack of patriotism. I fully understand specific criticisms of his policies, but I have been unable to determine what purpose is to be served by the fabrication of events that convey the current commander-in-chief as disrespectful toward the county he leads.

Perhaps the least malicious motivation for this would be allegory; the idea that while the events themselves are false, they succinctly convey an overall truth gleaned from his policies. There is also the possibility that the purveyors of these stories are able to justify their behavior by claiming the very patriotism the victim lacks. They might say to themselves, “Sure, it is a lie that Obama was caught pissing on a dead soldier’s coffin on Veteran’s Day, but the general public doesn’t perceive his socialist agenda and needs something easy to swallow in order to prevent his second term and the imminent damage it would bring.”

I am all about political discourse, but I disagree with anyone who knowingly perpetuates a falsehood in order to convey what they perceive to be a truth. If it is true, then why must its basis be untrue? Is it inconceivable that participants in the democratic process be allowed to decide on factual information?

I have listed a few highlights from Obama’s presidency. These are all mass-circulated claims from Facebook or chain e-mails that have been debunked.

2008

Claim – Obama wishes to change the national anthem to “I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing.”

Truth - The entire speech was written by humorist John Semmens and has nothing to do with Obama.

Claim – Obama blew off soldiers on a visit to Afghanistan in order to shoot publicity photos of himself playing basketball.

Truth – Refuted by Army Lt. Col. Rumi Nielson-Green and a large number of personal messages from active personal present that day.

2009

Claim – Photo shows Barrack and Michelle Obama saluting backwards while saying the Pledge of Allegiance.

Truth – Picture was altered to change their salute.

Photoshopped "salute"

2010

Claim – Obama said, in part, that troops “whine about the cost of going to war.”

Truth – Again, the entire speech was written by humorist John Semmens and has nothing to do with Obama.

Claim – Obama has refused to sign an Eagle Scout’s certificates.

Truth – Claim refuted by the Boy Scouts of America.

Claim – When Obama was not present to lay a wreath at Arlington on Memorial Day he was the first president to “blow it off.”

Truth – W. Bush was absent once, H.W. Bush missed all 4, Reagan missed 4. The only president in recent memory to make every one of them during their term was Clinton.

Claim – Picture shows Obama’s oval office that he stripped of red, white, and blue colors and changed to a “Middle Eastern” gold theme.

Truth – Picture is accurate but color schemes and decorations were all inherited from George W. Bush.

2011

Claim – Obama removed the American flag from Air Force One and replaced it with his logo.

Truth – Photo is of a campaign plane while he was a senator, no changes were made to Air Force One.

2012

Claim – During 9/11 memorial ceremony a lip-reader from the River School for the Deaf caught Michelle Obama whispering “All this for a damn flag?” to the president.

Truth – The school refutes this claim and says no such interpretation was made.

Claim – Obama had a “young female Marine Staff Sergeant” relieved of duty when she pointed out that his American flag pin was upside down.

Truth – Marine representatives claim that the incident never occurred and that they do not have a female officer at that post.

Perhaps I am old fashioned, but isn’t it pretty unpatriotic to continually circulate outright lies that misrepresent and defame the democratically elected commander-in-chief of our country? Is it too much to ask that we are given the chance to make our decisions based on actual policy? Maybe I am an idealist, but I believe that every serious candidate for president deeply respects this country and wishes to see it grow, improve, and prosper. What often separates the candidates from each other is the methodology they believe will move toward this bright future. People vote for the leadership and stated methodology they align most closely with so let’s refrain from mudding the waters of politics by claiming any of these candidates “hate America.”

In the spirit of these articles, I have fabricated an “incident” that would likely be accompanied by angry commentary and superfluous use of exclamatory punctuation were it to be mass circulated.

During a campaign stop on June 2^nd of this year, President Obama visited a VA hospital in Colorado for a photo opportunity. Afterwards, a hospital orderly walked into a conference room where Barack and Michelle were taking turns defecating on an American flag while playing “keep away” with the artificial limbs of an injured Iraq-War servicewoman.

When said orderly attempted to confront the President about his behavior, he was beaten with a leather-bound Koran while Michelle gleefully recited communist manifestos in Farsi. The orderly was immediately fired, along with a nurse who witnessed Obama using the Constitution to snort cocaine off a framed portrait of Vladimir Lenin.

However the real insult was reserved for that evening’s performance of The National Anthem when the Commander-In-Chief unfastened his trousers and proceeded to “helicopter” his genitals for a full two minutes. This shameful display, for which he later awarded himself the Medal of Honor, only served to underscore the lack of respect shown by our first Kenyan president.