CBS Cares (Perhaps more than they should...)

I was watching television the other night and caught one of the heartwarming “CBS Cares” public service announcements. This particular clip featured renowned thespian Chris Beetem, who most recently appeared as Dr. Ethan Copeland on One Tree Hill, dispensing advice to men who are unable to locate the perfect gift for a recipient of the “fairer sex.”

As any embellishment on my part would only detract from the humor, I will instead publish this verbatim transcript of the 17 second TV spot:

“Want to do something special for your woman this Christmas? Schedule a pap smear. Pap smears save lives. Give her the gift that even Santa can’t deliver.”

As if this wasn’t cringe inducing enough, Mr. Beetem recorded an alternate version that replaced the last line with:

“Give her the gift that says, it’s what’s inside that counts”

While I have no qualms about taking medical advice from a man who possesses such impressive television credentials, I began to wonder how my wife would react on Christmas morning as she emptied her stocking to find a pre-paid voucher for an invasive gynecological exam in place of the usual bottle of perfume.

To be fair to CBS, they also have a series of PSAs that encourage women to schedule prostate exams for their male companions in order to demonstrate that they “love all of them.”

Not to exclude our Jewish friends, there is a companion ad for Hanukkah that encourages women to make sure that their man’s prostate is “kosher.”

I am not opposed to the idea of preventative screening, just the idea of preventive screening as a Christmas present. If anyone has / or plans to implement this type of gift structure in their own lives I would love to know how it worked out…..